August Fifth
by writing in the rain
Summary: Everyone knows that Sirius Black had a tragic childhood. But what happens when he meets someone with an equally dark past. Full Summary inside. SB/OC and JP/LE
1. Prologue: A Second Beginning

**_AN_: So I realize that I have a horrible habit of not finishing stories I start, BUT I PROMISE THIS STORY WILL BE COMPLETED. Why? Because for one, I like it way better than any one the other fanfictions I've written (well started). And secondly, I've already written ten chapters of it, and I have a very firm idea of where I'm going with the plot. I'm hoping that because I've already got so much written (just over 30k words) I can stay ahead of what I have posted, and keep up with a regular update schedule. At the moment, my goal is to publish one chapter a week, but seeing as its almost summer vacation, I might be able to post more frequently than that. **

_**Disclaimer**_**: I am not J.K. Rowling, I don't own this, etc. I'm not going to bother with posting one of these for every chapter, so just use common sense and realize that this disclaimer applies to the whole story  
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**_Full Summary_: August Fifth was did not have a happy childhood, a fact which she tried to forget by ignoring it and never talking about it. But no matter how hard she tried to forget her past, it would plague her in the form of memories and nightmares. Even the best of us cannot deny where we come from, and August was no exception. And during her seventh year at Hogwarts, August's past would begin to haunt her in a whole new way. As her ghosts continue plague her, August begins to form a friendship with Sirius Black, who may just be able to help August come to terms with her dark past. **

**_Warnings/rating: _I'm just going to tell you know, that some later chapters will contain mentions/descriptions of child abuse that could possibly be triggering to some. Those chapters will contain warnings on them, but I wanted to alert you now just cause. Other than that, there's nothing to bad in this story, just mild cussing, some underage drinking, and underage smoking. I didn't really know what to rate this, but I decided to go with M just to be safe. But seeing as I'm fifteen and writing this, if you're around that age or older, you should be fine. **

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**Prologue: A Second Beginning**

_"Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting_

_Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear_

_Here comes the sun_

_Here comes the sun, and I say_

_It's all right"_

-_Here Comes the Sun, _The Beatles

August shifted nervously as she stood isolated in between platforms nine and ten in the bustling train station. She stuck out from the rest of the crowd, with her ragged, mismatched clothes that didn't fit her properly and her single rucksack that was only kept from falling to pieces by a few strategically sewn patches. Despite her shabby appearance, she went mostly unnoticed because of her small stature, as she was unusually tiny, even for an eleven year old.

August glanced anxiously at the giant clock on the wall proclaiming it to be 10:51, knowing she was pushing her luck. She strained her mind to remember how exactly the professor had said she could get onto platform 9 ¾ to catch the train to her new school: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. August had only been told about it three weeks ago, and in that time her world had been turned absolutely topsy-turvy, not that she was necessarily complaining. Still, August was rather ashamed and disappointed she had forgotten such a crucial piece of information. As the minutes ticked past, August became rather frantic. She had begun to cling to the idea of Hogwarts and to be forced to make the long walk back 'home' (if you could call it that) was more than she could bear.

Suddenly, August perked up with something like hope. A group of four people dressed rather oddly in long, formal looking black robes caught her attention. Their unusual garb reminded August of how the professor who had visited her had dressed, and she wondered, _could these people be wizards too?_ August followed their movements eagerly with her eyes, and as the party passed her by the words _muggles _and _wand _floated to her ears. August, pleased with herself for noticing these abnormal and obviously magical people, picked up her embarrassingly light bag from where it sat at her feet, and trailed behind them.

Although August had gotten rather used to being surprised in the last few weeks with all the shocks coming with the revelation of this whole new world, she still paused in amazement when the entire family she had been following disappeared straight through the wall. August frowned slightly as she debated whether or not she had imagined them vanishing. August glanced quickly around, but she saw no sign of the wizards she was searching for, and she noted that it was exactly three minutes till eleven, at which time her train was scheduled to depart. August bounced on her heels in deliberation for a few seconds, before shrugging and charging headlong into the solid bricks in front of her, thinking that it was at least worth a shot.

Even though she had seen it done by four other people right in front of her, August was still stunned when she stumbled through the wall onto a platform. It wasn't quite as impressive as her first visit to Diagon Alley had been, but she was still shocked enough to not see the boy in front of her until she had stumbled into him. When he turned to look at her, August immediately recognized him as one of the people she had followed onto the platform. Before August could even open her mouth to apologize, the shrill voice of what August assumed to be the boy's mother pierced the air.

"Watch where you're going you filthy mudblood," The woman seethed at her, and though August wasn't sure what exactly mudblood meant, the connotation was clear. She mumbled an incoherent apology and turned away to flee in fear, but not before the boy threw her an apologetic smile making it clear he at least didn't harbor any ill will.

August, though she _was _shaken up by the unsettling encounter, didn't have much time to worry over it, as she realized with a jolt it was just under a minute till the train would be off. In fact, August made it onto the train with barely seconds to spare. And while she was cursing her forgetfulness for making her late at the time, it was probably a good thing, because she didn't have time to feel jealous of all the other children hanging out the windows and yelling last minute goodbyes to their receding parents.

The train was not quite as intimidating as the platform, or the whole of King's Cross for that matter, but August still felt distinctly uncomfortable and out of place as she turned away from the window. She glanced up and down the corridor, debating which way to go, and even as she looked, people began disappearing into rapidly filling compartments, leaving August one of few people still milling about in the hall. She sighed and, still feeling rather lost, took off in a random direction.

The main problem August discovered in having arrived so late, was that most of the compartments she passed were already full. Well that, or they were occupied by older looking students, and August didn't want to intrude on them as she was rather intimidated by the whole situation. After what felt like ages of wondering about, she finally came across a section that was occupied by a few younger looking students. August knocked shyly on the door.

"Is it alright if I sit here?" She asked politely, drawing the attention of the wizards from their hushed conversation. The boy had greasy black hair, shabby clothes, and a scowl on his face that suggested he was not pleased with the interruption. In fact, August got the feeling that he rather thought it was not alright if she sat there. However, the girl sitting next to him seemed to have a different opinion as she smiled and nodded in a friendly way at August.

August was grateful to have a place to sit, but she felt slightly awkward under the scrutiny of the boy as she placed her backpack in the luggage rack next to two much larger trunks and sat down across from the previous occupants. Just when the boy looked like he was about to try and restart his conversation, the red headed girl stuck out her hand in a greeting.

"I'm Lily," She announced as August shook her hand a bit warily, unused to such formalities, especially in children. "Lily Evans. This is Severus Snape," she indicated the surly boy next to her, with an amount of cheeriness which seemed inappropriate for introducing someone so angry looking. When August only nodded as politely as she could manage, Lily continued. "What's your name?" she asked, and only then did August realize she had forgotten to give it. She was not used to meeting new people who actually had an interest in who she was.

"I'm August," she shared with a small smile. Snape made an odd sort of half-snarling expression.

"August?" He scoffed. "What were your parents just too lazy to think of something other than the month you were born in? Or perhaps they just didn't care?" He said in what was trying to be a scathing tone, but despite Severus's best efforts, he just ended up sounding rather petty and silly.

"Severus!" Lily chided him sharply, ashamed that her friend was being so rude. August just shrugged, doing her best to appear nonchalant though, in reality, Snape had hurt her quite a lot with the harsh reality of his words. August, however, had always tried not to let her weaknesses show, because she had learned much too young that it only allowed people to take further advantage of her.

"It's alright. I'm used to it." August managed to say, and she was quite proud that her voice only wavered a little. Severus raised his eyebrows, seemingly impressed, as he did not notice the way August was biting her lip and clutching her hands tightly in her lap, though Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

And then, in the way only kids can do, they proceeded to be become friends. Well not good, real friends, at least not August and Severus anyways. Severus continued to make comments about August's unusual name or her tattered clothes and backpack. August shrugged all this off as best she could, though her resentment to Snape grew throughout the train ride. By the end of it, she was no longer letting the insults roll off her back, but throwing ones back—taunting Severus's greasy hair and mocking him for putting on his school robes so early in the trip. Most of the mockery was rather shallow and somewhat good-natured, though several comments from each side hit much deeper.

Lily somehow succeeded in keeping the peace to some extent, as she moderated the conversation between the three of them. Most of what they talked about had to do with the magic world and what Hogwarts would be like. Lily and August, both being from the muggle world, had a plethora of questions for Snape. He answered some honestly, some mockingly, and others not at all. But by the time the train chugged into the Hogsmeade station, both girls had a better knowledge of the wizarding world than when they had first boarded. August especially, had learned much, as she had previously only known what she had been told by the professor in that one busy day, though much of that she had forgotten due to the shock of it all.

Nevertheless, nothing Severus had told her throughout the train ride could have prepared August for the sight that waited for her as she sailed across the glassy surface of the lake surrounded by her future fellow classmates. The air around her filled with awed gasps and expressions of amazement, but August simply stared in silent admiration of the glowing and impressive castle in front of her.

The glittering windows were a startling contrast to the inky black sky surrounding the building; it was not unfriendly however, and the lights seemed to be inviting the students inside. As the boats floated closer, more and more detail on the castle came into view, and August could see just how much work had gone into the ancient castle. It was very different from the shabby houses she was used to living in, but August thought it was perhaps a good change.

The inside of the building was no less awe-inspiring than the outside had been, and August found it quite difficult to listen to whatever Professor what's-her-face was saying, she was so busy looking around the ornate room. She only knew it was the same sharp, stern-faced woman who had first informed her that she was a witch; she couldn't remember the woman's name though, and she hadn't managed to catch it when the Professor had said it at the beginning of her speech, though she had heard her say that she was the deputy headmistress, something August found quite surprising and duly impressive. She wondered why the deputy headmistress had sought her out personally; surely she wasn't that important?

August had been too caught up in her own thoughts to pay attention to the Professor give her speech about the importance of houses (Severus had already explained it all anyways), so she was surprised to find that the teacher was done talking and all the students around her were surging forwards to follow her into a different room.

As remarkable as everything August had seen so far that evening was, she was most astonished by the room she had just followed her peers into. It glittered from the light of hundreds of floating candles and, surprisingly, light from the stars and moon also shown down on the crowded hall. August hardly paid attention to the four long tables laden with older students as she stared in wonder at the ceiling. She had always been fascinated by the night sky—August loved that it was always the same no matter where she happened to be—and she examined it with deep admiration. Her good mood could not even be wavered by her messy brown hair that had fallen out of the sloppy ponytail she had thrust in into earlier as she looked around the great hall with admiration in her bright green eyes.

August was still observing her surroundings when she joined the other first years in their disorganized line to one side of a raised stage. She was surrounding by fidgety eleven year olds having many whispered conversations with new friends, but August stood a bit to the side, standing silently by herself. The beauty of the grounds and the surprising reality of it all had left her incapable of words.

"It's all quite lovely isn't it?" Her new friend Lily whispered to her, startling August, who had not realized Lily had joined her. It was all August could do to nod back rather stupidly before the hat in the center of the stage began to sing. It was a surprisingly good singer (for a hat anyways) but August's mind was still too distracted and jumpy to catch the actual song, other than a few words here and there.

By the time August had accustomed herself to the idea of a singing hat, the song was finished and the hall had broken into—rather rowdy and obnoxious—applause. She was slightly disappointed that she had missed the entire song, but she soon moved past it as there was much more to think about. She watched as the same stern professor called up the first person to be sorted.

"Avery, Nathan." The sharp voice rang out cutting through the whispers and bringing silence to the hall as everyone turned to watch a rather large and mean looking boy stalk to the stool and jam the hat roughly on his head. August, along with everyone else, watched expectantly as Avery sat on the stool.

Though August had not been paying attention to the Professors speech about the houses, Severus had explained it on the train. He had told her and Lily that the hat would put every student in one of four houses: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin. He hadn't said much about what the different houses meant, only that he wanted to be in Slytherin, because as he saw it, Slytherins were the best. And while August hadn't been particularly fond of Snape, she thought that knowing someone in her house would probably be comforting. But other than that, she knew nothing about any of the houses, and so August felt rather neutral about the whole thing, though it was obviously quite a big deal to most of the people being sorted, because they were all shifting nervously around her and muttering to their friends in worried tones.

After the hat declared Avery to be a Slytherin, it placed a shy looking girl named Rebecca Clemmens into Ravenclaw, another boy into Slytherin who had a weird first name, a friendly looking pair of twins, Alec and Alexandra, into Hufflepuff, a nervous looking person by the name Sirius Black into Gryffindor, where Lily was also sorted, much to Snape's displeasure. Then it was her turn.

"…Fifth, August," the professor—whose name August still did not know—called out. By this point, a lot of the students already sitting at the tables had lost interest in the sorting, but this unusual name that sounded suspiciously like a date caught their attention.

August, who hadn't felt nervous up until this point, felt a wave of apprehension seize her as she walked unsteadily to the stool with hundreds of curious eyes on her. She was grateful that the hat was much too large for her small frame, and it slipped easily over her eyes, blocking the view of the rest of the students.

_My you have an unusual name. _The hat said to her. Well it wasn't so much like it was talking to her as it was whispering into her brain.

"You don't have to tell me twice," she thought begrudgingly at the hat.

_And what a tragic reason for it too, what a sad childhood you've had. _August shifted awkwardly in her seat at that. She hated people knowing about her life and she _hated _being pitied for it. _And very private too, I see, _the hat continued, in what sounded like an amused tone.

"Aren't you supposed to be sorting me, _not _judging me?" August tired to think the thought as sassily as is possible to think something.

_My, you are cheeky aren't you? _August swore she could feel the hat smiling. _Such a Slytherin trait. You have others to match it too, like all the stealing and scheming you do. _August flushed with embarrassment at everything the hat seemed to know about her; she was once again grateful that her face was hidden by the hat. _But you don't have the right ambition for Slytherin. You care much more for others wellbeing than your own, like a Hufflepuff, but you are too aggressive to truly belong there. You are certainly clever enough for Ravenclaw, but you do not hold a regard for knowledge, nor are you smart in a conventional sort of way; no, your brains are far better at devising tricks than doing schoolwork. Your bravery at all the things you've faced makes you a much better Gryffindor, as well as you passion for the things you truly love._

August was inclined to disagree with much of what the hat had told her about herself. She had always thought she was quite selfish, as she did do a lot of stealing. And she had never felt particularly brave before, especially not with all the time she spent living in fear, nor clever, as she never did well at the muggle schools she had attended in the past. But there was no time to argue the hat's choice, as it was already yelling "GRYFFINDOR!" out to the entire hall, which left August no choice but to leave the stage and join her new housemates, despite her growing fear that she wouldn't fit in with them.


	2. Ch 1: The Things We Don't Know

**A/N: Okay, so I know I was all like "update every sunday(ish)" but, in my defense, I've been at an ashram with no internet access. In the future, I'll try to let you guys know when there will be delays in the updates, and to make up for the wait, you will either get another chapter later tonight or tomorrow, depending on how long it takes me to edit. Happy reading, and I'd love to hear thought's from you guys at the end. **

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Chapter 1: The Things We Don't Know

"People often ask me questions that I cannot very well answer in words, and it makes me sad to think they are unable to hear the voice of my silence."

— Inayat H. Khan

August shoved her unruly brown hair back from where it had fallen in front of her face as she retched continuously into the toilet bowl she kneeled in front of. Her throat protested as her stomach reared it anger, forcing her dinner from the night before up and out, and rather painfully at that. August hated throwing up with a passion, yet it was something she found herself doing unfortunately often. She sighed as she gagged one last time before wiping her mouth sloppily on a nearby towel (that probably wasn't actually hers) and brushing her teeth quite vigorously before she left the bathroom feeling quite splenetic.

Her sour mood wasn't helped by the fact that her best friend Lily Evans was waiting for her with a knowing (though largely sympathetic) smirk on her face when she emerged from her shared bathroom. She was lounging on her bed, which was situated next to August's. This was advantageous when they wanted to have whispered midnight conversation, but August, already being in a terrible mood, just scowled at her friend.

"Really August, you'd think you would know not to eat so much, especially on our first day back!" Lily chided her in a tone annoyingly close to one a mother might use when addressing a small child. "It's our seventh year after all; one would think you'd have learned by now."

"Some friend you are," August grumbled, as she rolled her eyes at her friends scolding. Though in truth she knew Lily was right, and she was grateful for the concern, but did Lily have to be such a know-it-all constantly? "You could at least pretend to be supportive."

"My apologies," Lily replied facetiously. "I hope you recover quickly from you sickness so that you can gorge yourself with more food which will in no way make you get sick again!" Lily ended dramatically, as both girls grinned at each other, comfortable in their familiar banter.

"Where is everyone else?" August asked casually as she made her way to her bed and began to rummage through her bag (the same one she had used since first year) for her school uniform.

"They've all gone done to breakfast already." Lily replied, and August looked over at her in surprise.

"Is it that late already?" She asked, ignoring the way her stomach turned at the thought of food. She must have been in the bathroom longer than she had thought.

"It's nearly 8:00," Lily confirmed. "You better hurry up and get ready or we won't be able to get any food."

"Ugh like I could eat anything anyways," August groaned, feeling slightly nauseas again. "You go on without me; I'll just meet you at classes."

"But you don't have you schedule yet," Lily pointed out. August had nearly forgotten that, because it was the first day of term, she had yet to receive her schedule for her seventh year.

"Damn," she cursed, ignoring Lily's admonishing look. "Can't you get it for me? You are head girl after all. Aren't you meant to help students?"

"You don't count," Lily said matter-of-factly, though she was grinning.

"What's the use of being best friends with the head girl if you can't even call in special favors," August grumbled, but she didn't put up any further complaint. It would be nice to see all her old friends again any ways. She had been too busy sleeping away the train ride and then stuffing her face with food to really catch up with anyone.

So within a few minutes August had pulled on her raggedy and obviously secondhand (well more like third or fourth hand) clothes, and though she was positive she looked absolutely disheveled, she proceeded to the Great Hall with Lily.

"Bloody 'ell, you look rubbish," was the first greeting she got as she slid onto the bench with her friends. August stuck her tongue out at her other best friend, Ashley Hornwether. She shared a dorm with August and Lily, along with two other girls who August was only politely acquainted with simply for convenience sake more than anything. August and Lily had been friends from the train ride, and the two and annexed Ashley into their group only a little ways into the year. She had wild, curly black hair that complemented her dark skin nicely. Ashley was a half-blood in two senses—her father was African American and a muggle, while her mother was both pureblood English and magical. It had been quite the scandal when her mother had eloped with her dad some years ago, but the gossip had long ago settled down and their relationship seemed to be generally accepted by the community, except of course by those "pure" families that thought all muggles were beneath them. But August generally tended to disregard those sorts of people anyways; it wasn't like it mattered to her.

"I need new friends," August complained grumpily as she stared around the room watching her fellow students engulfing large amounts of food. She felt an odd combination of both sickness and hunger as she stared at the massive amounts of sustenance spread out along the Gryffindor table. Even after seven years at Hogwarts, she never could get entirely used to seeing so much food laid out in one place.

"Did Lily lecture you?" Ashley asked knowingly with a hint of sympathy in her voice, though August couldn't tell how sincere it was. August just scowled as she sipped on a steaming mug of coffee. She had slept fitfully last night (like she did most) and the caffeine boost was welcome. She had also hoped that it would help to settle her stomach a little, but it only made it grumble uncomfortably.

"Where's Marry?" Ashley asked suddenly, directing the question at no one in particular. August glanced behind her in search of their Ravenclaw friend, and was surprised to see no sign of her among her housemates.

"Come to think of it, I didn't see her at all yesterday…" August mused. The last time she had heard from Mary Macdonald had been about a month before school started on her birthday.

"You didn't hear?" A gentle voice interrupted their conversation. August looked over towards Remus Lupin, who was leaning towards them and speaking quietly, such that it was hard to hear him over the din. August would have normally smiled at her friend, as she hadn't seen Remus since the end of the previous school year, but he looked so grave, that August could not bring her lips into a smile.

"What happened?" Lily asked in a hushed tone, worry tinting her voice.

"Her parents were attacked," Remus informed them in a quiet voice. August felt the air rush out of her as the gasped. She had met Mary's parents a few times, and they had been so kind to her. "It was only a week before school started I think. And, well her mom was killed and her dad's in Saint Mungos right now, but it's not looking very optimistic for him. Dumbledore gave her permission to start the year late so she could stay with her father." August felt a rush of empathy for Mary, but was distracted when Remus continued speaking after a short pause. "And, well," He glanced up and down the table to make sure no one was listening in before continuing. "They think it was _him._"

**-o-**

**THE MINISTRY STRIKES BACK**

_After repeated reports of attacks on innocent muggle families, the ministry has finally taken action against the suspected attackers. The group of rampant witches and wizards who have dubbed themselves "Death Eaters" have been striking out against muggle kind for the past several months, but have managed to evade ministry detection. They have recently taken to attacking not just muggles, but also muggle-born witches and wizards. So far, they have only managed to kill three magical people, but nearly a dozen more currently lie in Saint Mungos receiving treatment for extensive injuries. _

_Last week, the ministry took their first decisive actions against this rising group. At a raid last week at an undisclosed household, ministry officials captured two alleged members of the occult. After extensively searching the grounds and interrogating the accused under Vetrisirrum, valuable information about the organization was been uncovered (for more details see the article _Death Eaters: Who are They Really? _on page 3). _

_After learning that the Death Eaters are likely connected to the powerful dark wizard that has been steadily been gaining power for the past year, the Ministry realized that they could sit by no longer. Last night, a team of Aurors invaded what they believed to be the headquarters of the Death Eaters. Unfortunately, it seems they had uncovered slightly false information. The Aurors had been led straight into a trap, where they encountered a band of waiting Death Eaters. A vicious battle followed, resulting in the capturing of one Death Eater and the deaths of another two. Only one Auror, Margaret Macdonald, died at the scene of the fight, but another three are currently in Saint Mungos. _

_While it is unclear what action the Ministry will take next, it seems they have not fulfilled their duty to protect the magical world thus far. More people, muggle and magical alike, are being killed daily at the hands of these Death Eaters, and still the ministry has no conclusive evidence concerning any of these matters. And all the while fear is circulating through the wizarding world, as well as rumors about the identity of the Death Eaters and the rising dark wizard Voldemort (though he is more commonly referred to as you-know-who). And perhaps even more terrifying than the wizards themselves, the Ministry appears to know no more than we do. _

August ran her hands through her tousled hair as she finished reading another article. She was sitting in a back corner of the library (one inhabited more often by mice and dust bunnies than actual people) surrounded by all the issues of the Daily Prophet from the previous summer surrounding her. It was currently lunchtime, but August, who still did not feel as though she could manage eating anything, had holed up in the library where she had requested every single newspaper that had been published during the summer months from the librarian, Madam Cobalt.

Ever since Remus had mentioned Voldemort that morning, it was all August could think about during her morning classes of Potions and Charms. At the end of her sixth year, Voldemort had merely been a rumor in the darker parts of wizarding society. She knew he had been recruiting followers fresh from Hogwarts (mostly Slytherins) but when she had left Hogwarts last spring, he had not yet done anything to warrant real fear or concern. But here he was, featured in many articles as a "dark wizard" and with his own band of followers.

Not to mention that people were dying now, muggles, muggle-borns and Aurors too, like Mary's parents. August, for once, was glad that she had no family to be worried about. She did, however, have many friends who were muggle-borns (and a few that were muggles from a different time in her life, but it had been hard to keep in touch with them). August couldn't help but feel worried for Lily and her family, as well as Ashley's dad.

In some perverse way, August felt partially responsible for the deaths of all of the people, especially Mary's parents, as the girl was one of her good friends. She knew it didn't make any sense that she should blame herself, but after her summer months in isolation from the magical world, she almost felt that if she had _known_ all of these terrible things had been happening, she would have been able to stop them; though this too was a silly notion, as she had still been underage most of the summer, so she there was nothing she could've done anyways.

**-o-**

Smoke curled around August's head in a perfect ring before floating off into the night air. She had been trying to kick her nicotine addiction, but her first week back at Hogwarts hadn't been great. The issue of Voldemort was weighing heavily on the back of her mind. In addition to that, she had been having more trouble than usual keeping the rich food of Hogwarts down. She hadn't been able to eat a full meal without rushing to the bathroom afterwards to throw it all back up. She was used to hunger though, and had learned at a sadly young age, that cigarettes somehow made the twisting feeling in her gut more bearable. She blew another smoke ring into the sky.

"Impressive," someone commented behind her and August whirled around to see none other than Sirius Black emerging from the doorway unto the little known roof patio. Well patio was hardly the right word; the empty cement deck was not impressive enough to be called a patio.

"Thanks," she muttered as Black moved to stand next to her where she leaned against the crumbling railing. August was not precisely friends with Black, but they didn't not get along, they just never made any special effort to be close. It was largely due to the fact that Black was best friends with Potter, who Lily made no secret of hating. August herself was on neutrally friendly terms with all the marauders, as she found their arrogance and sarcasm quite entertaining.

"Where's your posy?" August drawled at him casually. "Aren't you lot meant to be off gallivanting somewhere? It is a Friday night after all; what will the world have come to if you're not off making mischief?" Sirius just shrugged and made a noncommittal grunt. August, in turn, blew a stream of smoke at his face and laughed as he spluttered and coughed.

"Want one?" She offered, as she pulled out her second cigarette of the night (something she was not proud of). Sirius shook his head and August shrugged before lighting her own. Black watched as she took an enormous drag before asking:

"I thought you had to be eighteen to buy those?"

"You do, but where I come from, they're a lot easier to get a hold of than most things." August spoke with an odd sort of look on her face to go with her scowl and angry tone.

"And where's that?"

"Where's what?" August asked innocently.

"Where you're from?"

August just shrugged and took another long drag off her cigarette. Sirius was looking at her expectantly, obviously waiting for an answer. August, having decided that she had already said too much, didn't reply. It wasn't like she knew Sirius well enough to owe him any sort of answer.

"What brings you out here?" Sirius finally asked, after it was clear August wasn't planning to answer his first question. She held up her smokes as a reply.

"I thought I could smoke in peace; no one usually comes out here."

"Do you want me to leave?" Sirius asked, and almost worriedly August thought.

"Nah, as long as you're not a narc."

"A narc?" Sirius asked uncomprehendingly.

"Ah, I forgot, you're pureblood," August replied. When Sirius gave her a scathing look, she broke down and explained. "It means a tattler, you know, someone who rats someone else out, usually for drugs." Sirius nodded.

"So you're what, a muggle-born then?" He asked her, realizing that he didn't actually know whether she was muggle-born or perhaps a half-blood. August got a strange look on her face (the same look she'd had when Sirius had asked her where she was from) as she answered in a strained voice.

"Yeah I suppose I am," She answered with as shrug.

"You say it as if you don't know," Sirius observed a bit curiously. He would get no answer though, because August did what she always did when people started to ask her too many questions; she shut down and answered only with silence. It was perhaps not the best of ways to keep a secret, because her silence only made them more interested, but it didn't _really_ matter if they asked questions she didn't plan on answering.

"You're not very talkative are you." Sirius commented, more for the sake of saying something than anything else. He had never been one to handle silence well; Sirius was always the guy that rambled to fill up the quiet in the air. "It's quite a change; I'm very talkative you see. Though I suppose it's alright that you aren't because I can talk enough for both of us." Sirius blathered on. August was unperturbed by his speech; Lily was capable of talking for quite some time, and so was Ashley. August just continued to puff away at her dwindling cigarette and blow smoke rings at Sirius's face.

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Questions that I'm interested to know your answers to (some just for curiosity and others to actually help me write) and if maybe you could answer one or two in a review? But no obligation.

- What do you think of the characters? Are they realistic?

- How is my portrayal of the magical world?

-Any guesses on what's up with August? (This will be reveled as the story progresses, but I'm interested to hear your predictions. And no, its not an eating disorder, though that's probably what I would have thought)

-What's your favorite kind of cheese?


	3. Ch 2: The Good Times are Killing Me

**A/N: Okay so we should probably establish that when I say update every Sunday, its really more like update sometime Saturday-Tuesday. So anyways, I'm going to Bonnaro this weekend, so unless I find some time to edit another chapter before I leave on Wednesday, chapter three will defiantly be a few days late because will be getting back Sunday night and then I start summer school the next day. So yay.**

**Anyways I hope you enjoy this slightly late chapter!**

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Chapter 2: The Good Times are Killing Me

"_Feeling lonely is not about how many friends you have; it's about feeling disconnected from the rest of the world."_

_-Unknown_

"Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey," Lily said worriedly as she hovered over August, who was—once again—emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet. "It's been a whole week since the beginning of term and you've barely been able to eat anything. You're never sick this long."

"I told you Lily," August said in a strained sort of voice; she was obviously uncomfortable with her friends concern. "This summer was worse than usual."

"I don't see why you couldn't just stay with me," Lily fussed, but August knew her friend well enough to know she felt scorned. August sighed and pressed her feverish forehead against the cool porcelain bowl.

"Lily we've been over this." Her voice was tense as she tried to cover her annoyance and something verging on anger.

"I know, I know," Lily sounded resigned. "You feel like you'd be excepting charity." There was still a hint of hurt to her tone, and August felt a twinge of regret at having upset her friend. Lily was August's closest friend, and out of everyone she knew at Hogwarts, Lily knew the most about her familial situation.

"It's not just that Lily," August said almost pleadingly; her unspoken desire for her friend to understand was evident in the edges of her voice. August wasn't sure if Lily could hear it in her tone or see it on her face, neither was she sure whether she wanted Lily to either. "I can't just up and disappear from the muggle world; questions would be asked."

"But Dumbledore—"

"What about Dumbledore?" August asked tonelessly. Lily looked like she was preparing to say something but August cut her off. "I did talk to him you know," though August wasn't actually sure if this was true; she couldn't recall if she had confided the meeting she'd had with him a few years ago to Lily or not, and she didn't look at her friend to find out. "He thought it was best I remained in the muggle world until I was at least an adult in the wizarding world. That's all there is to it. He wouldn't help me, and I was not allowed to do magic out of school until barely a month ago." August regretted that her voice sounded so snappish to her ear. She hated being angry with Lily; she was only ever trying to help. But she still harbored some resentment towards Dumbledore for refusing to help her disappear quietly from the muggle world, but she knew he was just doing what he thought best for her.

And perhaps, though August hated to admit it, he had done what was best. While there was no one to precisely take care of her at the cruel orphanage she lived in over the summer months, that did not mean she was ready to take care of herself just yet. At least there she had company with which to suffer and some food to be had.

August flinched slightly as hands wrapped around her, and she was startled to find that Lily had joined her on the floor and was currently hugging her. August gripped the back of Lily's shirt tightly as she gripped onto her friend, not realizing how desperately she had needed the gentle reassurance of Lily's hug. But then, Lily was very perceptive, and she always did seem to know just what August needed.

"I'm a rubbish friend," August apologized quietly into the hug. "I'm always so rude and snappish and you're only every nice."

"Well that's not strictly true; I do have one hell of a temper," Lily joked, but it lightened the air only slightly, as August smiled through tears she had not known she was shedding. Lily's tone quickly turned serious as August tried to wipe away the tears; she hated to cry, and even more hated it to be witnessed. "You are an excellent friend," Lily assured her friend in a kind voice, but one that left no room for arguing. And then she proceeded to tell her why.

**THE DARK MARK—MARKING DARK TIMES**

_It is perhaps ironically appropriate that the symbol used by the Death Eaters to mark the home of their victims was been dubbed the dark mark, for it appropriately represents the times we are living in. The numbers of dead muggles at the hands of these dark wizards and witches is mounting daily, as they seem to have turned it into a kind of sport. The Ministry has asked those willing wizards who live in muggle populated areas to do their best to protect those they live among and to report any suspicious activity to the Ministry immediately. _

_In addition to the growing number of muggle deaths, muggle-borns are now in more danger than ever. Even half-bloods and families considered to be blood-traitors may find their lives endangered by this emerging group. It seems evident now that the purpose of the Death Eaters, and presumably their leader He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, is to 'purify' the magical bloodline, and perhaps even the entire Earth. We urge those of you in more immediate danger to seek protection in whatever ways you can—never travel unarmed, even within your own home. _

_For those wizards or witches who have been out of school for quite some time, or simply wish to brush up on their skills, the ministry will be hosting free defense training sessions once a week for any who wish to participate. _

_These times are dangerous, and we soon may have a war within the wizarding world, so we urge all to stay safe, lest the dark mark be above your house next. _

"Are you alright August?" Remus asked her gently as she plopped wearily next to him at the breakfast table.

"Well it is a Monday," She said by way of explanation as she picked out a solitary piece of toast.

"No it's not," Sirius broke off from his conversation from James, leaving him gaping like a fish mid-sentence. August would have laughed if she had not been so tired. "It's Wednesday."

"Is it?" August asked absentmindedly; she could have sworn it was Monday. Had they really already been in classes for two days? Remus looked worriedly at August, and was perhaps going to make some comment towards the welfare of his friend, but he never got the chance, because that was when Lily happened to sit down across from him and August.

"Hey Lily," James said, cutting over what anyone else had been about to say. Lily looked at him scathingly, and August wondered how he didn't shrivel up under her gaze.

"Please Potter; I don't want to hear your pleading this morning." Lily said contemptuously, and with a scowl. James looked quite cut down, and though August said nothing, she thought Lily had perhaps been a touch to harsh when all James had done was say hello, and that was certainly better than his usual greetings. August watched silently as Sirius turned away from her to _comfort_ James? That seemed very different from their usually joking and banter; in fact, August could barely remember seeing the pair look serious at all. It was nearly disconcerting to see James looking so genuinely hurt at Lily's rejections, and August couldn't help but wonder what had changed. She didn't get to ponder it any further however, because Lily interrupted her musings with a worried question.

"Have you eaten anything?" August was about to reassure her friend that she had eaten a piece of toast, but was surprised to find that the piece still sat untouched on her plate.

"I guess I haven't," August replied, but took a big bite of her toast. Lily looked satisfied, but watched August as she ate a few more mouthfuls before turning to Remus (who also looked worried, August noted distractedly) and asking him about some assignment for Charms that August was pretty sure she hadn't done. The truth was she had been sitting up late every night scouring the summer issues of the Daily Prophet she had picked up from the library. August hated not knowing what was going on in the wizarding world, but she couldn't afford to have the paper delivered over the summer months. She knew it was unlikely all this reading would do much good for her, but she had determined to do it anyways; August was hoping to uncover some sort of way she could help, though she was not at all sure what that would even entail. At the moment, the best thing August had come up with was to become an Auror when she graduated at the end of the year, but she wasn't sure if she could do even that. August didn't know if she had made it into all the required N.E.W.T. level classes to qualify for the training program, or if she even had the talent to pass the training provided she got in. Defense, was not one of her better subjects, and that was the first thing that came to mind when one thought of an Auror, which was certainly problematic.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Remus interrupted her train of thought. August looked up from her still only partially eaten toast the see Remus and Lily looking at her rather anxiously.

"Yeah, I could just use a smoke that's all," August said tightly; and it wasn't a lie, a cigarette would be nice, especially considering the growing anxious feeling curling up in her gut as she pondered her future.

"August!" Lily admonished sharply. "I thought you said you were quitting!" August had the decency to look sheepish.

"I was," August defended herself hastily. "It's just way harder than I expected." Ashley, who had previously been engaged in an animated discussion about Quidditch with Peter (neither actually played the sport due to inherent lack of ability but both were fascinated with it) broke off to interrupt.

"Oooh, somebody's in trouble," She teased August with the air of a primary school child. August stuck out her tongue in response before turning back to her defense.

"It's really hard to quit smoking okay. I mean have you ever done it?" It was a rhetorical question directed at Lily, so August was quite surprised when Sirius chimed in in response.

"Yes," Black stated matter-of-factly causing everyone involved in the discussion to turn to him in surprise. August herself was quite surprised he had heard of cigarettes having been raised by such strict pureblood.

"Really?" She asked incredulously.

"Well not actually," he admitted without one molecule of regret or apology in his voice. August rolled her eyes and wondered how she could she had ever thought him and Potter had matured. (Although she did notice Sirius's comment had served to pull attention away from her, which she _was _very grateful for.)

-o-

"August?" A hesitant voice broke August away from her studying stupor; she sat in her usual dusty corner of the library, surrounded by textbooks from various classes as she attempted to catch up on all of the work she had been putting off for the last two weeks.

"Yeah Potter?" August asked, trying to hide her surprise at seeing James in the library, where he had obviously come to speak to her (which was arguably more probable than him being in the library for any other reason). "I'm surprised that you know where the library is," August teased, in the usual manner she did with James; that was about all they ever said to each other: some sort of joke. Potter didn't laugh; he just continued to shift awkwardly from what foot to the other. August sighed and closed the book directly in front of her, more for effect than any sort of actual purpose; it was clear that James was not here for casual conversation. August gestured for him to sit down, which he did in an uncharacteristically hesitant manner, and asked "What's up James?"

"You're friends with Lily right?" August was unnerved by how nervous James seemed as her talked to her. Though August didn't spend any time with James, especially not one-on-one, this was nothing like he usually behaved in her experience. August was used to a James who was loud, arrogant, and often obnoxious; but the James sitting in front of her was none of these things.

"Yes…" August replied in a skeptical tone that made it very clear that she thought that was an obvious answer and that he should hurry up and get to the point already.

"Well…I was wondering…" James was clearly struggling to find the right words to say, and August could tell he was uncomfortable, as was she.

"Get to the point James," August said after quite a lengthy pause in speech.

"I was wondering…if you could tell me…whydoesn'tLilylikeme?" The last bit of the sentence came out all in a rush and August blinked in surprise at the sudden rush of information.

"Pardon?"

"Why doesn't Lily like me?" James asked again, slower and softly, with an edge of hurt to his voice.

"James…" August began hesitantly. This was rocky terrain; she had never talked to James about Lily before, and doing so felt almost like a violation of her trust. James seemed to sense August's reluctance to share information about her best friend to someone she was notorious for hating.

"Please August," He pleaded. "I just want her to like me and I don't know how to do that." August sighed loudly and blew her bangs out of her face as she made a split second deliberation.

"First of all, you can't _make_ anyone like you James, but you could try being nicer to her."

"What do you mean, I am nice to her." James protested, obviously confused. August shook her head.

"There's a difference in professing your love to someone regularly and being nice to them. Just treat her like a friend James, and stop being so arrogant and lovey-dovey all the time; she obviously doesn't want that." James nodded furiously to show he was paying attention, so August went on. "And stop with all the weird nicknames like Lilypad, those creep everyone out, not just Lily."

"Thanks August. Now that were head boy and girl together, I really want to show her I'm more mature now. I think I may have a chance," James told her enthusiastically, and August had to suppress laughter at his overexcited state.

"Are you more mature now James?" August asked him seriously with a long measured look.

"I…think so," He said, and August though his hesitation showed he was at least less arrogant. She nodded thoughtfully.

"Well act like it then. And make sure you do as much of the heads work as you can, it'll impress her," August instructed. And James nodded and thanked her a few more times than necessary before turning to go.

"Oh and James," August called after him as he began walking away.

"Yeah?"

"Good luck," She told him with a smile, which he returned. Despite her Lily's blatant dislike for the boy, August had always had a soft spot for James. She found his antics to be quite amusing, and there was something very sincere and real about him. August found herself rooting for him as she turned back to her assignments.

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**Okay reviews are appreciated. I haven't gotten any yet, and I would love to know what you guys are thinking.**

**- How are my cannon characters? **

**-I swear, August doesn't have an eating disorder. More will be explained in later chapters.**

**-How long do we think till James and Lily get together? Is there actually like an official time or date that J.K. Rowling has said, or do we just know it was their seventh year? I have never been entirely certain about that. It tends to vary.**

**Cheers xx**


	4. Ch : Stolen Newspapers

**A/N: so like sorry for the wait on this chapter…..I was busy…kind of. But you're not actually interested in my excuses. Though you might like to know that I'm participating in camp NaNoWriMo this month, so updates may be a little scarce this month. Though you may like to know that I will be working on this story for it, so come August you'll be getting plenty of updates.**

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Chapter 3: Stolen Newspapers

"_I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go."_

—_ Neil Gaiman_

**MINISTRY FAILS TO STOP MASS ATTACKS **

_As You-Know-Who continues to gain power as a dark wizard, his attacks on the muggle community have graduated to the next level. What started out as small acts of violence targeting individual or small groups of muggles has now progressed to substantial assaults against the muggle world throughout England and even other parts of the globe._

_Last week, a muggle bridge collapsed without warning, killing almost everyone at the scene. The muggle authorities have chalked the incident down to a combination of faulty engineering and strong winds; but members of the Ministry have attributed the bridge's failure to some kind of magic, the specifics of which they did not reveal. _

_In addition, the Death Eaters have caused several major London buildings to cave in; the events are being blamed on terrorists by the muggles. For the past few days, the southern tip of the British Iles has been ruthlessly assaulted by a powerful, magically generated storm. A team of experts have been dispatched to the site to try to calm the storm, but so far they have had no success. _

_It is now clearer than ever that the Death Eaters have a vendetta against the muggle world. It seems that You-Know-Who is not even content with random killing, but seeks to destroy the entire muggle community. _

_Except for sending a team to end the storm, the Ministry has done virtually nothing to stop the attacks on the muggle community. The auror department is more focused on hunting down Death Eaters than protecting even the muggle-born members of the wizarding world. The entire Ministry seems too preoccupied to do much about the muggle attacks, despite their increasing severity. It seems they have chosen to leave the protection of muggles to the general magical population—but the question is, how many will step up to help protect their non-magical peers? _

"It's pretty awful isn't it?" James asked as he slid in next to August at the breakfast table. She looked up from the news article she was scanning and nodded grimly.

"It is," She agreed. "I just wish there was something we can do."

"Me too. We're pretty much useless until we graduate," James complained as he loaded up his plate with a variety of foods. August was munching on jellied biscuit; after several weeks, she was finally able to eat normal amounts of food without throwing up after; she was still ridiculously thin though; her bones were practically sticking out of her skin.

"What are you going to do after?" August asked curiously as she folded up her stolen copy of _The Daily Prophet _and pushed it to the side; one could only stomach so much horrible news at breakfast.

"Probably an auror, it seems like my best chance at fighting _him._ What about you?" August hesitated; the truth was, she wasn't sure.

"I was thinking maybe the same, but I'm not sure if I have the talent, or even all the right classes. Plus the training takes, what like three years?" August shook her head passionately. "I want to do something _now!_" James nodded empathetically and was about to reply, when Lupin and Black plopped down heavily across from the pair, interrupting their conversation. James grinned at the presence of his friends.

"I see you finally got Padfoot up, Moony," James said teasingly. "It's like trying to wake the dead with this one," He then added to August. Sirius gave him a surly look.

"I have a free block this morning," He protested. "I don't see why I couldn't sleep in." Sirius shot Remus a glare. August had to hold back a giggle at his obvious hatred for mornings. Remus began to lecture Sirius about responsibility and doing homework and other things of that sort. Seeing that the two were distracted, August whispered a question to James.

"How's it going with Lily?" She asked him, quietly enough that no one else heard over the general chatter of the room. August had not been able to spend much time alone with Lily, as their seventh year was turning out to be just as intense as everyone had always said. Most nights, August was up to all hours just trying to get everything done on time, and she was barely scraping by in most of her classes despite all the effort she was putting in. Lily, as well, had been busy with schoolwork and her duties as head girl. August was not at all sure how she kept up with all her coursework _and_ had time to be head girl (and Lily was taking more classes than her too).

James let out a long, drawn out sigh; August felt a twinge of sympathy. During the past few weeks, after their spontaneous meeting in the library, August and James had a growing friendship. They didn't go out of their way to spend time with each other, but August had never realized before just how often she saw James. They shared several classes, as well as a common room. In past years, August had dutifully spoken to him as little as possible out of loyalty to Lily; she had also viewed him as overly arrogant and a bit of a bully; not really worth putting effort into knowing. But recently, they had been having actual conversations at meals and in the common room. August found all of her old impression of James dissolving; she found instead a very loyal boy who was perhaps a bit to passionate about some things.

"Not much better really," James confessed. "I've been nothing but nice to her, and I took all of your advice, but it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference." August nodded thoughtfully. She hadn't expected Lily to cave quickly to James after years of refusing him.

"I've got a new idea for you."

"Okay, shoot."

"What if you just ignore her completely," August proposed, and at James's look of protest, she hurriedly elaborated before he could interrupt. "I mean talk to her only when absolutely necessary, like about head's junk and shit. The rest of the time just ignore her; not like in a rude way, just stop trying to talk to her all the time and don't pay so much attention to her. She'll be so surprised by the change that she'll start to pay more attention to you," August finished proudly, obviously happy with her idea. She watched as James seemed to think her proposal over. "Plus it will show her that you're mature enough to respect her wishes and all that crap."

"That's…actually a really good idea," James finally agreed. August, however, didn't get to respond with more than a satisfied look before their conversation was interrupted, yet again, when Lily sat down next to Remus, who still appeared to be arguing with Sirius about something or other. Lily, as was typical, ignored James; James was about to greet her, when August kicked him sharply in the leg. He gave her a reproachful look, but kept his mouth shut.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Lily demanded of August. "Now I barely have ten minutes to eat." Lily looked slightly wild-eyed and haphazard. August smiled sheepishly.

"You looked so peaceful, and you were up so late last night working on whatever essay, I though you could use the sleep," August apologized. Lily looked touched, but there was no time for conversation, as Lily was eating rather quickly.

"You know, you're really skinny," James commented quietly with an almost concerned edge to his voice; August wondered if they were really that good of friends after only a few weeks that he could be concerned for her health.

"Yeah, I am," August agreed with a razor edge to her voice. James seemed to sense he was encroaching on dangerous territory because he lapsed into silence, though he continued to eye August in a way that made her feel oddly exposed and uncomfortable. She self-consciously picked up another a biscuit and took a rather large bite.

"I should go," She announced, more because James's gaze was making her uncomfortable than because she really needed to. "I've got to go all the way to Divination."

"I never understood why you kept up with that ridiculous subject," Lily commented as August gathered her things. She ignored the typical comment—Lily told her at least once a week that Divination was a waste of her time—and left with only a short goodbye for her friends.

Most people considered Divination a bullshit class, and August was one of only a few people who had advanced into the N.E.W.T. level of the class. Despite its reputation as a silly subject, it was one of August's favorites, second only to Astronomy.

August had always been fascinated by the idea of fate; and though she did not believe it was set in stone, she had always had strong premonitions about the future. As soon as she had begun to take Divination, she was one of the few people who both enjoyed the subject and were good at it. August loved all the guesswork and unpredictability of the whole field. She felt a strong appeal in interpreting how different things about a person and their mind could help you predict their future. Most people viewed Divination as silly; August saw it as a peculiar science and a way of understanding people and the world.

When August entered the homey Divination classroom in the upper region of the castle, it was still empty. She had left breakfast earlier than necessary to get to class on time, but she did not mind that much. The Divination classroom was furnished with cushy couches and chairs, and August made herself comfortable in her favorite overstuffed, floral armchair as she waited for class to start.

For the next five minutes, she watched quietly as the rest of the small class flowed in. She was the only Gryffindor who had continued with Divination, though this was not surprising considering most of her classmates scorned the subject. There was one Slytherin, a dark-skinned boy with long braided locks of hair, who rarely said anything but when he did it was always both exceptionally wise and unusually hilarious. Two girls from Ravenclaw were in the class as well, but August got the impression that they were only taking the class because it amused them; the pair largely kept to themselves, and everyone else was fine with that. The only other seventh year taking Divination was lovely Hufflepuff named Robert who shared August's passion for the subject. He was not all that great at it, unlike August, who seemed to have a natural ability, but he was very likeable and enthusiastic, so Mrs. Darrowni had let him advance to the N.E.W.T. level class despite the fact that he had failed his practical O.W.L. August was glad she had let him continue in the class, as he was one of her close friends, and his love for it was so lovely and rare.

Robert and Mrs. Darrowni entered the room within seconds of each other, and August smiled as her friend sat in his usual lime green beanbag seat next to hers. They barely had time to say hello to each other before Mrs. Darrowni swept gracefully into the room.

Despite the fact that she was completely pureblooded, August thought Mrs. Darrowni was a complete hippie. She was the only teacher not to where school robes; she instead dressed in long flowy skirts, usually with some sort of bright flowery pattern, with shirts that only halfway matched and excessive amounts of jewelry. She was a very unconventional teacher, but she was a popular one (possibly because she rarely assigned homework and tended to grade people on their levels of excitement rather than ability); and August thought she was quite good at teaching Divination as well, that is, if you happened to enjoy the subject, which few people seemed to.

"Alright class," Mrs. Darrowni began in her dreamy voice. "Let's get started shall we." The class was a long one, spanning from the end of breakfast almost till the beginning of lunch, but the time flew by for August as she found the in depth lesson on the connections between palm readings and dreams quite fascinating. Before she knew it class was ending with only a half hour left till lunch.

"August darling," Mrs. Darrowni called after her as she began to leave with Robert; she motioned for him to go on ahead as she returned to talk with her teacher.

"You're quite good with legilimency, yes?" August had long ago learned not to question how her Divination teacher seemed to know things about her she had never mentioned; so she just nodded. "I wanted to work with you privately on learning to get an impression of a person's future through their mind," Mrs. Darrowni explained. August's interest peaked; she had not known that that was possible. "It seemed like the sort of thing you might enjoy; I know how fascinated you are with the human mind."

Robert was waiting at the bottom the old and creaky stairs when August finished talking to Mrs. Darrowni. August smiled at her friend as he leaned casually against the wall, not seeing her yet. August had a deep affection for Robert, but they hadn't had much time to do more than casually catch up since they had been back at school. August could not have anticipated just how busy the first few weeks of her seventh year would be, but she imagined it was only going to get more hectic as they went on.

"Hey," August greeted Robert as she finished walking down the staircase. Robert smiled back in return. "Do you wanna go for a walk or something till lunch starts?" August asked, and she was glad when Robert agreed; she hadn't spent enough time with her friends lately.

"So how have you been?" Robert asked casually, as they strolled arm in arm aimlessly through the corridors.

"You you know," August replied offhandedly. "I can't believe how much work seventh year is and we haven't even been back a whole month yet." When Robert spoke again, there was a much more serious edge to his voice.

"How was your summer?" He asked; the question was loaded. August sighed.

"It was… okay…"

"You don't have to lie to me, August." August stopped walking and Robert, a few steps in front of her, turned back to face her.

"Okay, it was fucking awful. Is that what you want to hear," August snapped, momentarily losing her temper. She sighed and sat down against the wall; after a few moments, Robert slid down next to her, and put his arm around her shoulder.

"You know me too well," August half-way complained, though in truth she was grateful to have a friend like Robert. While Lily was her best friend, there was something about Robert's quiet and understanding persona that made him a very comfortable person to vent to about anything; because, unlike Lily, he just let you talk without interrupting you with tidbits of advice that you don't want (okay, August wanted Lily's advice _sometimes_).

"I think sometimes I don't know you at all," Robert quipped. That was the other thing August liked so much about Robert: he was completely genuine.

"So how was it really?" He asked again gently. "We both know you need to talk about it; otherwise you'll end up imploding at some point." August let out a long, resigned breath. She hated to talk about things; but she knew Robert was right.

"It was terrible, Robert," August admitted quietly, and she proceeded to tell him the whole story of her summer in a low voice as they sat in the flickering Hogwarts torchlight.

"It was worse than usual, or maybe I just always forget what my summers are like after spending all year here. I didn't have to go to any foster homes, which was kinda nice; those are always awful. But I was in the orphanage all summer; it's gotten worse since last year, if that's even possible. There was hardly enough food. And there were so many young kids there; Robert, it made me so sad. I remember being that kid; the new kid. I always felt like I had to share my food with them, because they're all so thin, so I hardly ever ate anything because I felt so guilty when I was eating something and they weren't. I felt obligated to try and help out everyone younger than me, because I remember being that age and not having anyone to take care of me." August trailed off, her voice choking up as she tried not to cry at the recollection of the young girls at the orphanage with her who were so thin you could cut yourself on their bones and should have been starting their periods but couldn't because their bodies could barely stay alive; and the boys shivering under not enough covers and trying not to cry because they wanted to be strong men, even if they didn't know how or what that even meant; and the babies howling for the parents that would never be there, or wanting for a substance they didn't even know they were addicted to.

The pair lapsed into silence as August rested her head against the comfort of Robert's shoulder. She loved that he just listened; he didn't try to loan unwanted or irrelevant advice; he didn't apologize for something that wasn't remotely his fault; he didn't pity her, or if he did, he had the decency not to show it.

"Well, at least you're seventeen now. You're free," Robert commented after a few moments of affectionate silence. August murmured noncommittally, content in Robert's casual comforts.

"What're you gonna do?" August asked Robert, tilting her head back so she could see his face, though it looked out of proportion viewed from upside down and so close. But his green eyes still twinkled out at her friendlily as he thought about the question that had been such a common topic amongst the seventh years.

"I think I'd like to be a healer, at St. Mungos or someplace else." Robert mused thoughtfully. "I like to help people, so there's that, and I'm pretty good with those sorts of spells and potions." August was jealous of how certain he seemed of his future. "What about you?"

"Oh god, I have no clue." August groaned in complaint. "I'd _like_ to be an auror just because I hate all the people that are dying and I want to do something to fight you-know-who—"

"Typical Gryffindor," Robert interjected good-naturedly. August shot him a glare, but continued speaking as if he hadn't interrupted.

"But I'm not good at any of that stuff. I barely made it into the N.E.W.T. level Defense class, and I didn't get into Herbology at all, and I'm pretty sure that's a required class and I'm rubbish at Transfiguration—it's a miracle I didn't fail my O.W.L.—and I'm only halfway decent at Charms and Potions, and—" August was about to continue when Robert interrupted her again.

"August, stop listing all the things your bad at." Robert instructed, and she dutifully shut her mouth. "So you wouldn't make to best auror; that's fine, there are other ways to fight Voldemort. What are you good at August? That's what's important. What do you _love?_"

"Divination and astronomy," August answered automatically.

"So do that." The answer was so simple, yet it had never occurred to August; she had been so caught up on making a big difference and fighting Voldemort and the Death Eaters that she had neglected to think about what it was she _really_ wanted to do. August thought, as she sat comfortably with a friend in the safe of walls of Hogwarts where Voldemort could not reach them, that maybe the thing that made him most powerful and awful was not how many people Voldemort killed or tortured, but the simple fact that he could overcome all thought of a peaceful future, and rid everyone of hope so that their days revolved around fighting him. He had taken over the whole wizarding world, and there had yet to be an actual war; and that was the most terrifying thing about him.

* * *

**Okay so thoughts? **

**How're my characters? **

**What do you guys think about the new information about August's past? More and more will be revealed as the story goes on.**

**What's your favorite color?**

**How much do you hate my sporadic updates? (I'm trying I promise, I'm just really, really lazy.)**


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